Yes, its been a little while. Over a year now, I think.

I'd like to talk about Molicares.

I've recently begun ordering diapers online. It started as a lark, becuase I wanted to try out a few different brands, namely giving Abenas a go again using a Large rather than Medium size, but I figured I'd try out Molicares, which I've heard much about over the years. Went to B4NS, and put in my order. One bag of each. Holy *crap* was shipping fast. Got the Abenas within 2 days, and the Molicares within a week.

I'm still not satisfied with Abenas. A lot of hype, and they're certainly *comfy* diapers...but the tapes are crap and I don't like how they fit. Their Larges are, if anything, too large for me. I'm slowly working through the bag that I bought, but they're only meh. The tapes are quite weak, not just in adhesivness but in actual attachment to the wings of the diaper...meaning that the tapes will literally rip out of their anchoring, leaving no hope of reconnection. Its very frustrating.

Molicares, on the other hand, are like the Cadillacs of adult diapers. They are everything you could ever hope for in one. Yes, they're not white...they're purple...but its this weird soothing pastel purple that just seems to work, somehow. Not sure why. But they're thick, super-absorbent, and very comfy. Their tapes are good quality and hold up very well through the night. And they're cheaper than the Abenas, which is a plus.

So I ordered a case of them, figuring that I'd just switch over to Molicares from now on, moving away from my much beloved Attends (which I still have a fair number of...I've had to change halfway through the night a few times due to catastrophic Abena tape failures). I ordered the case from B4NS on Saturday. It arrived today. Holy DINA! Two days it took to get here. That's *FAST*. I buy stuff on Amazon and it takes 2-4 weeks. I buy adult diapers and it takes two DAYS? Damn, man. Just...damn.

So yes. I am alive, healthy, and very happy in my new diapers. I may have to start posting here more often. I need to find some way to interact with the larger AB/DL community, after all.

About an hour and a half ago my phone's alarm went off. It was telling me that I had worn my pullup for 4 hours, and it was time to change into a diaper. At 3pm it told me that I needed to change my pullup, and it did the same again at 7pm. At 10am in the morning it will wake me up and remind me that I need to put on my pullup immediatly after I get out of the shower. And so on.

I set 4 alarm functions on my cell phone today, with little notes. The first is labeled "Wakeup", and has a "D-P" note that reminds me that it is time to change from a diaper into a pullup, so I can go to work. Then at 3pm it will tell me "Change 1 P-P", reminding me that my first change after getting up is to change into a fresh pullup. Then again at 7pm, "Change 2 P-P", since I'll still be at work. At 11 it will read "Change P-D", since it will now be time for me to change into a diaper, after wearing pullups all day.

I love this. It makes me feel...I dunno. To an extent, it makes me feel like I'm not trustworthy enough to remember on my own to change myself. And that I need to be directed of what I am changing from and into. What I SHOULD be wearing right now, and what I should be wearing when I'm done changing, and that I NEED to be reminded of this, otherwise I'll forget and put the wrong thing on.

It isn't really about being aroused by it. But intstead, like wearing the pullups all day and diapers at night; like setting up my bedside table with all my diapers and gear displayed; like hanging my teething ring above my bed...it just feels RIGHT. Like that's how things should be in my life.

I'm a little scared that I feel this way, that these things just fit perfectly and make me feel...I dunno. Normal. And very in control of my life.

...considering all the other stuff people do to feel normal and in control (drink, take drugs, cut themselves, etc.), I think this is probably the least harmful thing I can think of.

OK. So I'm now back in pullups, so I'm now wearing something absorbent and disposable 24/7. Its a wonderful feeling, and thanks largely to a conversation I had with a friend last night where I basically expressed how much more secure and comfortable with myself I feel when I'm wearing a diaper (any kind of diaper, really), and that I really wnated to assert that my life is my own now, 100%. So I'm going to do what I want with it. Which includes moving more towards diapers.

So I bought a couple bags of Tena, I figure I'll go through about a bag a week. And I've set up my bedside table completly now. Its got all my stuff on it (except my bibs and sippy cup, which are in the kitchen on one of the open shelves for easy access). Also hung a hook by my bed with my teething ring on it.

Here's a couple pictures of my bedside table now, from a few angles.





Note teddy bear on the bed (that's Cid), and my teething ring/keys hanging above the bed (that hook when other people ask is ostensibly for hanging my glasses on at night so I know where they are). Also note that my wipes, chuck pads, and baby powder (and soon lotion and oil) are on the top, in prominent view, with easy access for changing.

The bottom actually has doors on it, but I opened them for the picutres. Inside are the excess diapers and pullups that wouldn't fit into the open shelf, along with two washable underpads, and my big, thick cloth pullup.

I am liking my apprtment a lot now. Lots of fun.

That's all for now.

Its been a while. A long long while. A lot has changed.

I've got my own appartment now. That's the biggest change. The diaper experiment that I had going ended in November or so, and since then I've just been wearing at night, and occasionally during the day.

Though that's changed now that I'm in my own place. I've never felt quite so free as I do now. I work a LOT, really long hours, so mostly when I come home the first thing I do is change into a diaper and then just putz around the place. I bought some chuck pads (the disposable absorbent blue pads) that I've been sitting on a lot.

I should post a picture of my bedside table. It has two levels, one open and one with doors on it. Both are PACKED with diapers, and the top one also has my chuck pads, my bibs, my baby powder (and soon lotion and oil), my teething ring, a my sippy cup. Bottom half just has diapers in it, as well as a few of the washable absorbent pads, and my cloth pullup.

I've been thinking of restarting the experiment, going back into pullups and diapers full time. Pullups during the day, or at least when I'm at work, diapers whenever I'm at home. Its a thought. I've had a lot of fun just sitting around, eating, watching TV, etc. with my diapers on...just the freedom to wear them whenever, and wherever, I want is great.

I'm still wearing the Attends, but I've been trying out the Abenas. They're SUPER thick...almost twice as thick as one of my regular Attends. The tapes aren't great, I can't wear them all night with how much I move in my sleep, but they're VERY comfy for just sitting around in. And SUPER SUPER absorbent, which is great.

I've been thinking a lot about other things to buy. I want to get some forearm crutches...yeah, an appartment isn't much space to use them in, but they would be nice. I'd love to get a wheelchair, but I wouldn't have the room to store it, and they're pretty expensive. Want to get some large handled cutlery, maybe some of those plastic bowls you give to little kids, the ones that have suction cups on the bottom. I would very much like to find some way to put up a railing on the one side of my bed not facing the wall, maybe something that slides under the matress and could be slid back under the bed for when company comes. Unsure if that's even possible to buy. I've also been giving a lot of thought to putting a screw above the bed and hanging one of those baby crib toys on it occasionally.

Basically, there's a lot of ideas I'm playing around with. At the moment, just being able to wear diapers when and where I want is more than enough.

That is all for now. Sorry for the long silence.

Ugh. I came down with a stomach bug.

Know what the worst part of really bad diareah is? Its the time you really SHOULD be wearing a diaper, but without a place to dispose of it discreetly, you CAN'T wear one. Which is frustrating. I'm cold, and shivery, and my tummy hurts, so I really want to just crawl into bed with a diaper and my teddy. But I'm going to just have to keep running to the bathroom every 45 minutes or so.

Bah. Really annoying me. And I just barely avoided having an accident a few hours ago (I'm no longer wearing pullups, due mainly to financial reasons), which caused me to leak a little bit and means that I don't have any clean pants left to wear, so I have to do laundry, whcih I don't want to because I feel really awful right now.

...this is not a good day.

I've been restless lately. Partly becuase I've been without internet for a week.

But its given me time to think about my plans for this year.

I got a new job that's going to start in about a week or so, and hopefully there the owner will let me wear my black jeans instead of the standard uniform pants. I don't see too much of a problem, the owner's a nice guy, I think I saw the chef wearing black slacks. They COULD be uniform pants, but I don't think so. I'll ask.

If that works out, it means I can wear pullups ALL the time. Though what I'm thinking is that instead of having "pull-up days" and "diaper days", I'm going to moderate my use depending on my class schedule. So before longer (2-4 hour) classes, I'll change into a diaper.

Looking forward to it, to be honest. I'm also thinking I'm going to dedicate a drawer to age-play/DL related stuff. Got my two bibs, and three changing pads, as well as my "file" of devotee-related newspaper clippings, most of which mention diapers at one point or another. I'm thinking of getting a few other things this year. A swim diaper, for one. I've got a decent paycheck, so that'll be fine. Maybe get some special cutlery with big padded grips for easier handling. Maybe a sippy cup and a teething ring? I dunno. Teething rings are something I've always liked. NOt big on bottles or pacifiers, but I like being able to chew on something.

I'm really torn about whether or not to wear my diaper too the bathroom in the morning, and wear a pullup back. It'd be noisy and hard to hide. But...I dunno. I like the idea. Of not quite trusting myself to be dry between the bathroom and my room. Almost wish I had my own place, lol.

God am I ever looking forward to going back to university and my new job!

So I ran out of diapers on monday, and the medical supply store was all out of the medium Attends that I normally wear.

So I grabbed a bag of Tranquility instead, because it was cheap.

BIG mistake. In two nights I had to use four diapers, the tapes were THAT bad.

So I returned the bag to the store, and they let me grab a bag of Tena in return. Now, I was thinking these were the Tena diapers I used a couple years ago when the store I was going to ran out of Attneds and gave me a couple free sample diapers to make up for it till their next shipment came in. They were cloth backed, with a big tape area on the front.

I oepned the bag...and was pleasently surprised. These ones are plastic backed, with a big tape area. Its so nice, overall. Pleasent feeling, pretty comfy, and the tapes seem to be pretty good.

My big problem with most adult diaper brands is how strong the tapes are. I roll around a LOT when I sleep. I mean, I sleep fine, but I toss and turn around WHILE I'm sleeping, and this puts a lot of stress on the tapes which means that diapers withoust strong tapes tend to come apart while I'm asleep. Which is never good. And I can't sleep in a diaper that has half its tapes coming off. Just doesn't work.

So...yeah. Things seem to be looking up.

And the internet's working again. Yay!